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sky_no_yuki2017-10-27 06:35 pm
yukitsubute) wrote in sky_no_yuki2017-10-27 06:35 pm
Up where we belong 17/18 (JunBa, Sakumiya)
Title: Up where we belong
Pairing: For the beginning Arashi friendhip, later on: JunBa, Sakumiya, Ohno/??
Rating: up to R
Warning: None
Summary: To grow up in an orphanage can be really depressing. You miss your family, or you wonder about your family. Why are you here? Where is your mother? Your father? Everything starts getting easier when you have friends who are your family - like in Masaki's, Sho's, Kazu's and Satoshi's case. And when a baby arrives in the orphanage, Masaki has big-brother-like feelings from the very first beginning.
Sho turned in his bed. It was far past midnight when he heard someone rummaging in the apartment. It was terribly noisy and every time Sho tried to sleep again, he heard another noise. He finally stood up and walked outside, finding Satoshi sitting in the kitchen, the fridge’s door open and some bottles of Whiskey and beer around him. Sho sighed. “Oh gosh, I already feared something like this.”
“Let me,” Satoshi said. “I am okay.”
Sho knelt next to him. “No, you’re definitely not.”
“I am worthless, Sho. She left me because I am not able to show any kind of feelings. She started hating me,” Satoshi almost yelled.
“Don’t be stupid, Satoshi.” Sho tried to calm the other down. But Satoshi started yelling again, telling him that he was worthless, bad, terrible … Sho could feel anger in him rising, till he raised his hand and slapped Satoshi. “Stop it now. I won’t let you talk like that about yourself.”
Satoshi sobbed. Sho had never seen his friend like this before. Satoshi had always been calm and it wasn’t true that he didn’t care about others. “But …” Satoshi started, but Sho immediately interrupted him.
“No. There is no ‘but’. You took care of me, when I had been a child, and you cared of the others probably more than I did,” Sho said. “Can you remember the day Masaki hurt his knee? You were the one helping him, because I was just running in circles. And the day Masaki and Kazu ran away? You kept the overview and you were the one finding them, because you listened to them, when they were talking to you. You remembered about every word they had told you. And I was again just running in circles.”
Satoshi brushed away some tears with the sleeve of his pullover. “But Maya, …”
“No, she is a stupid … bitch,” Sho said. He could see Satoshi staring at him with eyes wide open, before Satoshi started laughing out loud. “What?”
“I never ever heard you talking like that, Sho-san.” Satoshi hiccupped. “My life is a mess,” he added.
Sho took the bottle of alcohol out of Satoshi’s hand. “And we’ll clean that mess, but first of all, you stop with this crap, okay?”
Satoshi nodded. “Okay.”
~~~
Masaki waited in the living room till Kazu came back home. He could hear the door got open and someone stepped in. He turned to look at Kazu, who looked sad. “I am sorry, Ma-chan.” He said when he came up to Masaki.
“No problem, Kazu, I am sorry too,” Masaki said. “I didn’t want to fight over silly things.”
Kazu shook his head. “We both overreact a bit.”
“Sho asked me what happened,” Masaki said. He didn’t want to hide anything from his brother. “And you know I am a bad liar.”
Masaki could see Kazu stop moving. “Did you tell him?”
Masaki shook his head. “No. Of course not. But I told him about something bothering me, and I guess he’ll go on my nerves from now on.”
Kazu came closer and placed his hands around Masaki’s neck. “You are the best twin.”
“I know,” Masaki said with a laugh. “But promise me that you’ll speak about everything one day.”
“I promise,” Kazu said.
~~~
Masaki turned in his bed. It was late at night, but he still couldn’t sleep. His talk with Sho some days ago still resounded in his mind. It burdened him every night since back then. He had really told him that he was frustrated because he felt unloved. Of course Sho had told him that this was nonsense and that everyone loved Masaki, but it wasn’t the same. He knew that his brothers and his friends loved him, but that wasn’t same.
When Jun had told them that he had someone he liked, Masaki felt sad, and he a part of him wished that he’d be the one … wait a moment … no, he couldn’t think that he hoped that he was the one Jun would like. Jun was kind of his little brother, even though he was only six years older. He didn’t tell Sho about his feelings for Jun, he had just told him that he was sad because he hadn’t anyone he liked and no one seemed to be interested in him.
Masaki could see Sho’s eyes getting darker and a little frustrated himself, but he said nothing at all, but that wasn’t necessary. Masaki had already recognized what was going on, and he just wondered when they’d finally realize it, but he wouldn’t interfere in someone else’s life.
Masaki heard his mobile vibrating. It was 2am, who called him at this time?
It was a message from Jun.
Jun-pon:
Masa-chan, are you aawakke?
Masaki sighed. That didn’t sound good. Jun never made mistakes in his messages, nor did he call him Masa-chan.
Masaki:
Are you okay, Jun?
Jun-pon:
I feel soooo good. No wait, I’mmm drunkkk
Masaki:
Jun, please, you are too young to drink, where are you?
Jun-pon:
Cllos to yourrr homue
That was definitely bad. Jun never drank anything because of his training, and he hardly ever went out at night. Masaki wondered what happened to him.
Masaki:
You come here, now!!
Jun-pon:
Okei
Masaki slipped out of his bed. He’d wait for Jun in the living room. Masaki sneaked out, but there was no need to be quiet, Kazu’s door to his room was open, and there was no one inside. Masaki should wonder where he had been, but he had to think about Jun now.
Masaki opened the door when he heard a loud knock – which could wake up the whole neighbourhood. “Come in.” Masaki held Jun by his hand when he stumbled into the apartment, giggling. “I am a little bit tipsy.”
“Okay, sit down now. I bring you some water,” Masaki said. He walked into the kitchen and took a glass with water and walked back to Jun, who lay on the couch, already snoozing away.
Masaki placed the glass and some painkillers on the table and walked back to his room to get a second blanket for Jun. He returned and Jun had already coiled up on the couch. He was deep asleep, but Masaki was sure that that wouldn’t last long, because sooner or later he’d need to get rid of the alcohol.
~~~
Sho walked upstairs to the roof top. He had the laundry in a basket. Satoshi and Sho had a rather strict household plan, because otherwise they knew it would look like after a bomb had exploded in their rooms.
After Satoshi had opened up to Sho some days ago, they had made another plan. First of all Sho had thrown away all alcoholic things from their apartment, and second he had arranged a meeting with a psychologist to help Satoshi getting out of his dark mood.
Satoshi had told him that the most important thing were his friends, and that he knew he could rely on them, but he felt so broken when his future plan broke into thousands of pieces and he didn’t know if he’d be able to feel something for someone ever again. Sho didn’t doubt that Satoshi would find someone again, but he had always been the weakest when it came to feelings.
No one could read Satoshi’s deepest thoughts easily, but Sho knew him for so long, he could interpret every single of Satoshi’s moods. Satoshi was the most silent one between them, but he had the most feelings burdening him. He was insecure and kind of weak, even though everyone thought he was the strongest. He often seemed unaffected by everything, but it was opposite, he was the most effected by feelings.
“Sho?” Sho shrieked when someone suddenly talked behind him.
“God, Kazu, don’t scare me to death,” Sho grumbled. “What are you doing on the rooftop past midnight?”
“I could ask you same?” Kazu sighed.
“I can’t sleep and I love the fresh air at night,” Kazu said. “Did you wash Satoshi’s shirts again?”
Sho sighed. He hated Kazu’s sharp mind. He was really too attentive. “Can you keep a secret?”
They sat on the small bench. “Satoshi has a problem. And he is … sweating a lot.”
Kazu nodded. “I know.”
“You do?” Sho stunned.
Kazu nodded. He really wasn’t easy to fool. “He acted different since his break up and he was always drinking too much when we went out together. It wasn’t that difficult to guess that there is something wrong.”
Sho leaned back. He hoped he could hide these things from the younger ones. “You all know?”
“At least Masaki and me. Jun isn’t around that often during the last months, so I guess he is still clueless,” Kazu said.
“Good. Keep it as a secret, please.” Sho placed the laundry basket on the ground. “Are you okay, Kazu?”
Kazu winced when he had asked that question, so there was really something wrong with him. “No, everything is perfect.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that you broke up with Ryo long ago?” Sho nibbled on his lips. He had never dared to ask Kazu this, but he was hurt. Did Kazu stop trusting him? Or was he annoyed because of something? Or worse: did he realize that Sho behaved strange when he was talking with Kazu?
“I am sorry, Sho. I didn’t want to go on your nerves with my little lovesickness,” Kazu explained.
Sho could feel his heart beat increasing. “I always thought that you were only together because of … argh … you know, sex.”
Kazu smiled at him. “Still prude?”
“Oh shut up,” Sho poked Kazu’s side.
“At first it was like that, but the feeling grew, especially after you all thought that we were together for real,” Kazu explained.
“Why did you break up then?”
Kazu sighed. He rubbed his face. “Ryo told me that my heart,” he made a pause. “My heart didn’t belong to him. He ended it.”
“I am really sorry to hear that,” Sho said. He placed his hand on Kazu’s shoulder.
“It’s okay. I guess we are still friends.” Sometimes Sho wondered about Kazu’s positive way of thinking.
“And why are you up here?” Sho asked further.
Kazu shrugged. “I love the place here to think about this and that.” He turned to Sho. “But you aren’t here just because of the laundry either, right?”
Sho shook his head. “The whole situation with Satoshi makes me worried, and I don’t know. Everything is a mess.” He turned to Kazu. “Do you know about Masaki and his feelings?”
“You mean that he feels bad because he had never been loved by someone?” Kazu asked.
“That and the thing with Jun,” Sho said.
Kazu froze. He looked at Sho with eyes wide open. “Why? How?”
Sho laughed. “He didn’t tell me, if you think about this, but I know you all so well, and it’s so obvious.”
Kazu sighed. “And you think it’s awkward and disgusting?”
“No,” Sho yelled out. “Of course not, what do you think of me?”
“It’s what Masaki thinks. He knows Jun so long, and he is kind of a brother for him, just that his feelings grew. Masaki had cried so many nights, Sho. I can’t take this anymore. He thinks so bad about himself, and no matter how often I tell him that everything is okay, and it’s okay to feel like this, he wouldn’t believe me.” Kazu was worried and it burdened him. “And you know what’s the strangest thing about it?”
“That Jun might feel same?” Sho asked, earning a laugh from Kazu.
“So we already have the overview, but Masaki and Jun haven’t. They are so stupid,” Kazu whined.
Sho nodded. “I really don’t think that this is strange, really not.” Sho’s heart pounded against his chest. This talk was strange, because Sho knew that he could switch Masaki’s name with his and Jun’s name with Kazu’s, he just was too much of a coward to tell Kazu about it.
“Hey, look down there. Isn’t this Jun?” Kazu pointed at a man stumbling to the entrance.
“He is drunk …” Sho said angrily. “Oh I will so scold him for that.” He wanted to stand up, but Kazu held him back.
“I think it’s not necessary, I am sure he’ll visit Masaki, and Masaki isn’t really nice when it’s about drunken states,” Kazu said. “I just … can I stay at your place? I don’t think it’s good to go home now.”
Sho laughed. “You think to give them time alone will help them?”
Kazu shrugged. “I tried to put a little thought in Masaki’s mind. I just hope it worked out.”
“I hope you succeeded.” Sho stood up. “Come, help me with the laundry, and then let’s head back to the apartment.”
“Hey, you didn’t tell me about every reason you are here tonight?” Kazu asked. Again Sho felt caught. Could he tell Kazu the truth? “Maybe I am not that different from Masaki,” he finally just said and started placing the laundry on the cloth line.
“Wait?” Kazu pulled him back and made Sho looking at him. “What?”
A/N: Soooo, we have a whole mess here *lol* Satoshi is really broken, Jun is drunk, Masaki is just crying, Sho is depressive and Nino ... well is irritated? *lol* I am sorry for the whole feeling-mess here, ^^ let's see what will happen to them in the end <3
Thanks for reading dear people out there <3
Pairing: For the beginning Arashi friendhip, later on: JunBa, Sakumiya, Ohno/??
Rating: up to R
Warning: None
Summary: To grow up in an orphanage can be really depressing. You miss your family, or you wonder about your family. Why are you here? Where is your mother? Your father? Everything starts getting easier when you have friends who are your family - like in Masaki's, Sho's, Kazu's and Satoshi's case. And when a baby arrives in the orphanage, Masaki has big-brother-like feelings from the very first beginning.
Sho turned in his bed. It was far past midnight when he heard someone rummaging in the apartment. It was terribly noisy and every time Sho tried to sleep again, he heard another noise. He finally stood up and walked outside, finding Satoshi sitting in the kitchen, the fridge’s door open and some bottles of Whiskey and beer around him. Sho sighed. “Oh gosh, I already feared something like this.”
“Let me,” Satoshi said. “I am okay.”
Sho knelt next to him. “No, you’re definitely not.”
“I am worthless, Sho. She left me because I am not able to show any kind of feelings. She started hating me,” Satoshi almost yelled.
“Don’t be stupid, Satoshi.” Sho tried to calm the other down. But Satoshi started yelling again, telling him that he was worthless, bad, terrible … Sho could feel anger in him rising, till he raised his hand and slapped Satoshi. “Stop it now. I won’t let you talk like that about yourself.”
Satoshi sobbed. Sho had never seen his friend like this before. Satoshi had always been calm and it wasn’t true that he didn’t care about others. “But …” Satoshi started, but Sho immediately interrupted him.
“No. There is no ‘but’. You took care of me, when I had been a child, and you cared of the others probably more than I did,” Sho said. “Can you remember the day Masaki hurt his knee? You were the one helping him, because I was just running in circles. And the day Masaki and Kazu ran away? You kept the overview and you were the one finding them, because you listened to them, when they were talking to you. You remembered about every word they had told you. And I was again just running in circles.”
Satoshi brushed away some tears with the sleeve of his pullover. “But Maya, …”
“No, she is a stupid … bitch,” Sho said. He could see Satoshi staring at him with eyes wide open, before Satoshi started laughing out loud. “What?”
“I never ever heard you talking like that, Sho-san.” Satoshi hiccupped. “My life is a mess,” he added.
Sho took the bottle of alcohol out of Satoshi’s hand. “And we’ll clean that mess, but first of all, you stop with this crap, okay?”
Satoshi nodded. “Okay.”
~~~
Masaki waited in the living room till Kazu came back home. He could hear the door got open and someone stepped in. He turned to look at Kazu, who looked sad. “I am sorry, Ma-chan.” He said when he came up to Masaki.
“No problem, Kazu, I am sorry too,” Masaki said. “I didn’t want to fight over silly things.”
Kazu shook his head. “We both overreact a bit.”
“Sho asked me what happened,” Masaki said. He didn’t want to hide anything from his brother. “And you know I am a bad liar.”
Masaki could see Kazu stop moving. “Did you tell him?”
Masaki shook his head. “No. Of course not. But I told him about something bothering me, and I guess he’ll go on my nerves from now on.”
Kazu came closer and placed his hands around Masaki’s neck. “You are the best twin.”
“I know,” Masaki said with a laugh. “But promise me that you’ll speak about everything one day.”
“I promise,” Kazu said.
~~~
Masaki turned in his bed. It was late at night, but he still couldn’t sleep. His talk with Sho some days ago still resounded in his mind. It burdened him every night since back then. He had really told him that he was frustrated because he felt unloved. Of course Sho had told him that this was nonsense and that everyone loved Masaki, but it wasn’t the same. He knew that his brothers and his friends loved him, but that wasn’t same.
When Jun had told them that he had someone he liked, Masaki felt sad, and he a part of him wished that he’d be the one … wait a moment … no, he couldn’t think that he hoped that he was the one Jun would like. Jun was kind of his little brother, even though he was only six years older. He didn’t tell Sho about his feelings for Jun, he had just told him that he was sad because he hadn’t anyone he liked and no one seemed to be interested in him.
Masaki could see Sho’s eyes getting darker and a little frustrated himself, but he said nothing at all, but that wasn’t necessary. Masaki had already recognized what was going on, and he just wondered when they’d finally realize it, but he wouldn’t interfere in someone else’s life.
Masaki heard his mobile vibrating. It was 2am, who called him at this time?
It was a message from Jun.
Jun-pon:
Masa-chan, are you aawakke?
Masaki sighed. That didn’t sound good. Jun never made mistakes in his messages, nor did he call him Masa-chan.
Masaki:
Are you okay, Jun?
Jun-pon:
I feel soooo good. No wait, I’mmm drunkkk
Masaki:
Jun, please, you are too young to drink, where are you?
Jun-pon:
Cllos to yourrr homue
That was definitely bad. Jun never drank anything because of his training, and he hardly ever went out at night. Masaki wondered what happened to him.
Masaki:
You come here, now!!
Jun-pon:
Okei
Masaki slipped out of his bed. He’d wait for Jun in the living room. Masaki sneaked out, but there was no need to be quiet, Kazu’s door to his room was open, and there was no one inside. Masaki should wonder where he had been, but he had to think about Jun now.
Masaki opened the door when he heard a loud knock – which could wake up the whole neighbourhood. “Come in.” Masaki held Jun by his hand when he stumbled into the apartment, giggling. “I am a little bit tipsy.”
“Okay, sit down now. I bring you some water,” Masaki said. He walked into the kitchen and took a glass with water and walked back to Jun, who lay on the couch, already snoozing away.
Masaki placed the glass and some painkillers on the table and walked back to his room to get a second blanket for Jun. He returned and Jun had already coiled up on the couch. He was deep asleep, but Masaki was sure that that wouldn’t last long, because sooner or later he’d need to get rid of the alcohol.
~~~
Sho walked upstairs to the roof top. He had the laundry in a basket. Satoshi and Sho had a rather strict household plan, because otherwise they knew it would look like after a bomb had exploded in their rooms.
After Satoshi had opened up to Sho some days ago, they had made another plan. First of all Sho had thrown away all alcoholic things from their apartment, and second he had arranged a meeting with a psychologist to help Satoshi getting out of his dark mood.
Satoshi had told him that the most important thing were his friends, and that he knew he could rely on them, but he felt so broken when his future plan broke into thousands of pieces and he didn’t know if he’d be able to feel something for someone ever again. Sho didn’t doubt that Satoshi would find someone again, but he had always been the weakest when it came to feelings.
No one could read Satoshi’s deepest thoughts easily, but Sho knew him for so long, he could interpret every single of Satoshi’s moods. Satoshi was the most silent one between them, but he had the most feelings burdening him. He was insecure and kind of weak, even though everyone thought he was the strongest. He often seemed unaffected by everything, but it was opposite, he was the most effected by feelings.
“Sho?” Sho shrieked when someone suddenly talked behind him.
“God, Kazu, don’t scare me to death,” Sho grumbled. “What are you doing on the rooftop past midnight?”
“I could ask you same?” Kazu sighed.
“I can’t sleep and I love the fresh air at night,” Kazu said. “Did you wash Satoshi’s shirts again?”
Sho sighed. He hated Kazu’s sharp mind. He was really too attentive. “Can you keep a secret?”
They sat on the small bench. “Satoshi has a problem. And he is … sweating a lot.”
Kazu nodded. “I know.”
“You do?” Sho stunned.
Kazu nodded. He really wasn’t easy to fool. “He acted different since his break up and he was always drinking too much when we went out together. It wasn’t that difficult to guess that there is something wrong.”
Sho leaned back. He hoped he could hide these things from the younger ones. “You all know?”
“At least Masaki and me. Jun isn’t around that often during the last months, so I guess he is still clueless,” Kazu said.
“Good. Keep it as a secret, please.” Sho placed the laundry basket on the ground. “Are you okay, Kazu?”
Kazu winced when he had asked that question, so there was really something wrong with him. “No, everything is perfect.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that you broke up with Ryo long ago?” Sho nibbled on his lips. He had never dared to ask Kazu this, but he was hurt. Did Kazu stop trusting him? Or was he annoyed because of something? Or worse: did he realize that Sho behaved strange when he was talking with Kazu?
“I am sorry, Sho. I didn’t want to go on your nerves with my little lovesickness,” Kazu explained.
Sho could feel his heart beat increasing. “I always thought that you were only together because of … argh … you know, sex.”
Kazu smiled at him. “Still prude?”
“Oh shut up,” Sho poked Kazu’s side.
“At first it was like that, but the feeling grew, especially after you all thought that we were together for real,” Kazu explained.
“Why did you break up then?”
Kazu sighed. He rubbed his face. “Ryo told me that my heart,” he made a pause. “My heart didn’t belong to him. He ended it.”
“I am really sorry to hear that,” Sho said. He placed his hand on Kazu’s shoulder.
“It’s okay. I guess we are still friends.” Sometimes Sho wondered about Kazu’s positive way of thinking.
“And why are you up here?” Sho asked further.
Kazu shrugged. “I love the place here to think about this and that.” He turned to Sho. “But you aren’t here just because of the laundry either, right?”
Sho shook his head. “The whole situation with Satoshi makes me worried, and I don’t know. Everything is a mess.” He turned to Kazu. “Do you know about Masaki and his feelings?”
“You mean that he feels bad because he had never been loved by someone?” Kazu asked.
“That and the thing with Jun,” Sho said.
Kazu froze. He looked at Sho with eyes wide open. “Why? How?”
Sho laughed. “He didn’t tell me, if you think about this, but I know you all so well, and it’s so obvious.”
Kazu sighed. “And you think it’s awkward and disgusting?”
“No,” Sho yelled out. “Of course not, what do you think of me?”
“It’s what Masaki thinks. He knows Jun so long, and he is kind of a brother for him, just that his feelings grew. Masaki had cried so many nights, Sho. I can’t take this anymore. He thinks so bad about himself, and no matter how often I tell him that everything is okay, and it’s okay to feel like this, he wouldn’t believe me.” Kazu was worried and it burdened him. “And you know what’s the strangest thing about it?”
“That Jun might feel same?” Sho asked, earning a laugh from Kazu.
“So we already have the overview, but Masaki and Jun haven’t. They are so stupid,” Kazu whined.
Sho nodded. “I really don’t think that this is strange, really not.” Sho’s heart pounded against his chest. This talk was strange, because Sho knew that he could switch Masaki’s name with his and Jun’s name with Kazu’s, he just was too much of a coward to tell Kazu about it.
“Hey, look down there. Isn’t this Jun?” Kazu pointed at a man stumbling to the entrance.
“He is drunk …” Sho said angrily. “Oh I will so scold him for that.” He wanted to stand up, but Kazu held him back.
“I think it’s not necessary, I am sure he’ll visit Masaki, and Masaki isn’t really nice when it’s about drunken states,” Kazu said. “I just … can I stay at your place? I don’t think it’s good to go home now.”
Sho laughed. “You think to give them time alone will help them?”
Kazu shrugged. “I tried to put a little thought in Masaki’s mind. I just hope it worked out.”
“I hope you succeeded.” Sho stood up. “Come, help me with the laundry, and then let’s head back to the apartment.”
“Hey, you didn’t tell me about every reason you are here tonight?” Kazu asked. Again Sho felt caught. Could he tell Kazu the truth? “Maybe I am not that different from Masaki,” he finally just said and started placing the laundry on the cloth line.
“Wait?” Kazu pulled him back and made Sho looking at him. “What?”
A/N: Soooo, we have a whole mess here *lol* Satoshi is really broken, Jun is drunk, Masaki is just crying, Sho is depressive and Nino ... well is irritated? *lol* I am sorry for the whole feeling-mess here, ^^ let's see what will happen to them in the end <3
Thanks for reading dear people out there <3