All about courage (Matusmiya)
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sky_no_yukiTitle: All about courage
Pairing: Matsumiya
Rating: PG
Summary: Nino has a crush - but how should he make the first step?
Note: Me and my friends did a christmas special. We decided by drawing lots who had to prepare a christmas special for whom :) I got my beloved K. and here it is :) I am sorry that it's not that long, but I ran out of time <3 I hope you like it.
Nino peeked around the corner of the green room. Jun sat there, staring at the laptop. From time to time he pulled his glasses up when they were about to slip from his nose. He was distracted and deep in his thoughts – probably he was analysing their last performances, but Nino was sure that he would turn to look at him when Nino would enter the room. And he didn’t dare doing that.
Why? Because the last days had been a total mess. Nino sighed. Why did all this happen? He bit his lower lip. Maybe Jun didn’t remember? Maybe he forgot about the night two days ago? They were drunk after all. Yes, probably he didn’t know about all that anymore. Nino tried to make a step into the room, but he couldn’t. The fear in him rose and he didn’t want to face Jun – at least not alone.
“Hey,” Nino shrieked when he suddenly heard Aiba’s voice from behind. “Why are you standing here?”
Nino turned to his band mate. What should he say? I am observing Jun? I am not able to face him? I am afraid? “I wanted to go inside now.”
“Sure,” Aiba chuckled. Why did he chuckle? Did he know about what had happened? No, he wasn’t with them. He couldn’t know something. “Come now.” Aiba pulled him along into the room.
Nino could feel the heat in him rising, and when he saw Jun turning to him, Nino’s heart seemed to stop beating. Was Jun blushing? No, that couldn’t be. But he was nervous and he was rubbing the bridge of his nose with his forefinger, he always did this when he was nervous. God, and he was so good looking. Nino shook his head. No, he couldn’t think like that.
Nino shook his head when he realized that they were still staring at each other. Aiba grumbled something next to him and when Nino wanted to answer something, he could see that Aiba had already left the room.
“He is going to meet Oh-chan, I guess,” Jun said with a smile. Nino had the feeling that his legs would give in and he’d slip on the ground. He took a step back and sat on the chair there.
“Jun, I need to talk with you,” Nino said. It took all his courage to say something in this moment, but he wouldn’t do it anytime soon when he wouldn’t try it now.
Jun raised his hands. “I know it was a stupid idea, and I know it happened accidentally. So don’t worry, it won’t happen again.”
Nino’s heart stopped before it felt like cracking into thousand pieces. He wanted to say something different, he wanted to tell Jun about his feelings, about the fact that the night two days ago was the most beautiful ever for him, but Jun didn’t see it same. Somehow Nino had already feared that, but it was so hard to hear it from the other.
Nino looked down on the ground. He counted the small squares on the carpet to prevent some tears approaching in his eyes. He had never been teary, but this time he felt like all his feelings overwhelming him. But he didn’t want to show it to the other. He wanted to look like everything was okay. He didn’t want to admit his feelings and risk that their friendship would suffer because of that – because worse than being rejected by Jun would be to lose his friendship. Nino wanted to prevent this with everything he could do. “Sure. I am not worried about it.” Nino hoped that he didn’t sound over all desperate and sad. “I hope that this won’t affect our friendship?” Nino’s heart beat increased.
Jun shook his head, a smile around his lips. “No, of course not. I totally understand that this was a one time mistake, and I won’t do any stupid step, I promise.”
Nino tilted his head. “Wait a moment,” he said. “But you would do a stupid step?” Was Jun admitting that he liked Nino? Was there a chance that this incident happened because the both of them wanted it and they were just too stupid to recognize that it was their both wish?
“Kazu,” Jun sighed. “I told you that this was a mistake, and I won’t do anything.” He didn’t seem to understand what Nino meant.
“No, no, I want to know if you would try it again if you’d know that there would be a chance?” Nino asked again. He knew this question was probably a little unfair, but he didn’t dare to confess directly.
Jun’s cheeks turned red and he bit his lips before he licked over them. God, Nino so wanted to kiss the other, but he tried holding back. “I would …” Jun started. “…probably think of trying it again, yes.”
Nino didn’t know if he’d jump up and dancing around, or if he should kiss him right away, or if he should yell in happiness? He decided to breath in deeply before he knelt next to Jun, taking Jun’s hand in his.
Jun stared at him and pulled away his hand, but Nino took it again, holding it more tightly now. “Jun, we are stupid.” This wasn’t exactly the best start to confess, but it was the first thing in Nino’s mind. He laughed out about his own words, and when he saw Jun’s irritated gaze he had to laugh till he felt the tears in his eyes building and dropping down on his cheeks. He didn’t know if this happened just because of his laughing or also because he was so damn relieved that Jun had said these words – it was probably a mixture of both things.
Jun’s eyes turned from irritated to worried and his hand squeezed Nino’s tightly. “Kazu, what do you mean?” Jun asked.
He was so smart – but this time Jun’s senses he actually had were gone – he was totally blind and he didn’t understand a single thing here. “You are so smart, Jun, and now you suck at realizing what’s going on here.”
Jun blinked. Suddenly he opened his mouth a little and a single “oh” escaped his lips. “You mean that you … no.” He shook his head.
Nino nodded. “This mistake – it was a mistake – but it was a mistake we both wanted and want. Just that we, in our totally strange way of thinking, thought that it was just because one of us wanted it, and not we both.”
“Oh,” Jun said again. “That’s why Aiba scolded me, and he grunted some totally weird stuff.” He laughed out. “And I thought he had a fight with Satoshi.” Jun hiccupped like he sometimes did when he was overall nervous. “But it seems he was annoyed because of us.”
Nino’s belly jumped happily. This was the best moment in his life. He thought of what to say, but there was nothing he could think of and so he just bent forward and kissed the other. It was the only thing he could think of, and it was the best feeling he could have ever felt. When he felt Jun pulling him closer, Nino was sure that this was the right way. It was the thing he had longed for so long, and now his dreams became true.
“I am so happy,” Jun whispered after they dissolved. He had his head nuzzled in Nino’s neck, kissing him here and there.
“Me too,” Nino said, his eyes closed. He wanted to memorize every single moment of this, even though there would follow hundreds of moments like this, but the first moment was always the most beautiful for Nino – and he could hardly await the hundred other first times they would have in their upcoming life together.
Pairing: Matsumiya
Rating: PG
Summary: Nino has a crush - but how should he make the first step?
Note: Me and my friends did a christmas special. We decided by drawing lots who had to prepare a christmas special for whom :) I got my beloved K. and here it is :) I am sorry that it's not that long, but I ran out of time <3 I hope you like it.
Nino peeked around the corner of the green room. Jun sat there, staring at the laptop. From time to time he pulled his glasses up when they were about to slip from his nose. He was distracted and deep in his thoughts – probably he was analysing their last performances, but Nino was sure that he would turn to look at him when Nino would enter the room. And he didn’t dare doing that.
Why? Because the last days had been a total mess. Nino sighed. Why did all this happen? He bit his lower lip. Maybe Jun didn’t remember? Maybe he forgot about the night two days ago? They were drunk after all. Yes, probably he didn’t know about all that anymore. Nino tried to make a step into the room, but he couldn’t. The fear in him rose and he didn’t want to face Jun – at least not alone.
“Hey,” Nino shrieked when he suddenly heard Aiba’s voice from behind. “Why are you standing here?”
Nino turned to his band mate. What should he say? I am observing Jun? I am not able to face him? I am afraid? “I wanted to go inside now.”
“Sure,” Aiba chuckled. Why did he chuckle? Did he know about what had happened? No, he wasn’t with them. He couldn’t know something. “Come now.” Aiba pulled him along into the room.
Nino could feel the heat in him rising, and when he saw Jun turning to him, Nino’s heart seemed to stop beating. Was Jun blushing? No, that couldn’t be. But he was nervous and he was rubbing the bridge of his nose with his forefinger, he always did this when he was nervous. God, and he was so good looking. Nino shook his head. No, he couldn’t think like that.
Nino shook his head when he realized that they were still staring at each other. Aiba grumbled something next to him and when Nino wanted to answer something, he could see that Aiba had already left the room.
“He is going to meet Oh-chan, I guess,” Jun said with a smile. Nino had the feeling that his legs would give in and he’d slip on the ground. He took a step back and sat on the chair there.
“Jun, I need to talk with you,” Nino said. It took all his courage to say something in this moment, but he wouldn’t do it anytime soon when he wouldn’t try it now.
Jun raised his hands. “I know it was a stupid idea, and I know it happened accidentally. So don’t worry, it won’t happen again.”
Nino’s heart stopped before it felt like cracking into thousand pieces. He wanted to say something different, he wanted to tell Jun about his feelings, about the fact that the night two days ago was the most beautiful ever for him, but Jun didn’t see it same. Somehow Nino had already feared that, but it was so hard to hear it from the other.
Nino looked down on the ground. He counted the small squares on the carpet to prevent some tears approaching in his eyes. He had never been teary, but this time he felt like all his feelings overwhelming him. But he didn’t want to show it to the other. He wanted to look like everything was okay. He didn’t want to admit his feelings and risk that their friendship would suffer because of that – because worse than being rejected by Jun would be to lose his friendship. Nino wanted to prevent this with everything he could do. “Sure. I am not worried about it.” Nino hoped that he didn’t sound over all desperate and sad. “I hope that this won’t affect our friendship?” Nino’s heart beat increased.
Jun shook his head, a smile around his lips. “No, of course not. I totally understand that this was a one time mistake, and I won’t do any stupid step, I promise.”
Nino tilted his head. “Wait a moment,” he said. “But you would do a stupid step?” Was Jun admitting that he liked Nino? Was there a chance that this incident happened because the both of them wanted it and they were just too stupid to recognize that it was their both wish?
“Kazu,” Jun sighed. “I told you that this was a mistake, and I won’t do anything.” He didn’t seem to understand what Nino meant.
“No, no, I want to know if you would try it again if you’d know that there would be a chance?” Nino asked again. He knew this question was probably a little unfair, but he didn’t dare to confess directly.
Jun’s cheeks turned red and he bit his lips before he licked over them. God, Nino so wanted to kiss the other, but he tried holding back. “I would …” Jun started. “…probably think of trying it again, yes.”
Nino didn’t know if he’d jump up and dancing around, or if he should kiss him right away, or if he should yell in happiness? He decided to breath in deeply before he knelt next to Jun, taking Jun’s hand in his.
Jun stared at him and pulled away his hand, but Nino took it again, holding it more tightly now. “Jun, we are stupid.” This wasn’t exactly the best start to confess, but it was the first thing in Nino’s mind. He laughed out about his own words, and when he saw Jun’s irritated gaze he had to laugh till he felt the tears in his eyes building and dropping down on his cheeks. He didn’t know if this happened just because of his laughing or also because he was so damn relieved that Jun had said these words – it was probably a mixture of both things.
Jun’s eyes turned from irritated to worried and his hand squeezed Nino’s tightly. “Kazu, what do you mean?” Jun asked.
He was so smart – but this time Jun’s senses he actually had were gone – he was totally blind and he didn’t understand a single thing here. “You are so smart, Jun, and now you suck at realizing what’s going on here.”
Jun blinked. Suddenly he opened his mouth a little and a single “oh” escaped his lips. “You mean that you … no.” He shook his head.
Nino nodded. “This mistake – it was a mistake – but it was a mistake we both wanted and want. Just that we, in our totally strange way of thinking, thought that it was just because one of us wanted it, and not we both.”
“Oh,” Jun said again. “That’s why Aiba scolded me, and he grunted some totally weird stuff.” He laughed out. “And I thought he had a fight with Satoshi.” Jun hiccupped like he sometimes did when he was overall nervous. “But it seems he was annoyed because of us.”
Nino’s belly jumped happily. This was the best moment in his life. He thought of what to say, but there was nothing he could think of and so he just bent forward and kissed the other. It was the only thing he could think of, and it was the best feeling he could have ever felt. When he felt Jun pulling him closer, Nino was sure that this was the right way. It was the thing he had longed for so long, and now his dreams became true.
“I am so happy,” Jun whispered after they dissolved. He had his head nuzzled in Nino’s neck, kissing him here and there.
“Me too,” Nino said, his eyes closed. He wanted to memorize every single moment of this, even though there would follow hundreds of moments like this, but the first moment was always the most beautiful for Nino – and he could hardly await the hundred other first times they would have in their upcoming life together.
no subject
Date: 2017-12-25 02:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-12-26 11:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-01-06 02:19 pm (UTC)Love this! Thanks for sharing! ♥
no subject
Date: 2018-07-24 09:23 am (UTC)I love indirect confessions and this was so sweet! Matsumiya being all shy and insecure (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)
Thank you for writing this 💛💜